There may not be a so-called video game adaptation curse, but there are certainly some dreadful adaptations, and Borderlands stands as a prime example. Eli Roth's attempt to bring Gearbox Software's looter-shooter franchise to the big screen is a monumental misfire, landing squarely in the realm of "not worth the watch." It's not necessarily terrible, but Borderlands is such an excruciatingly dull, one-dimensional slog of a movie that it fails to capture any of the excitement or charm of its source material.
The film plods along with a lifeless narrative and uninspired performances, making it a tedious experience rather than an entertaining escape. The vibrant and chaotic energy of the game is nowhere to be found, replaced instead by a bland and forgettable cinematic outing. Ultimately, Borderlands is a disappointing adaptation that leaves much to be desired, and it’s hard to justify spending time on a film that offers so little in return.
The film operates like a rudimentary introduction to the Borderlands universe, centering on Cate Blanchett's grizzled bounty hunter, Lilith. Roth and co-writer Joe Crombie interpret the game’s rich, interplanetary world-building in an agonizingly linear fashion. Any thrill of navigating Pandora's Skag-infested territories and Psycho outposts is discarded, as Roth confines his characters to a singular, uninspired mission. Lilith is hired by business magnate and arms manufacturer Atlas (Edgar RamÃrez) to locate his daughter on Pandora. This daughter turns out to be the pint-sized demolitionist "Tiny" Tina (Ariana Greenblatt). However, Lilith's mission isn't just about rescuing Tina from the clutches of former mercenary Roland (Kevin Hart) and the deranged Psycho Krieg (Florian Munteanu). There’s also the matter of an ancient Eridian vault, for which Tina might be one of the three necessary keys to unlock.
The entire experience is frustratingly shallow. Between facing off against the adversarial Crimson Lance soldiers led by Commander Knoxx (Janina Gavankar) and giant Threshers that could devour a hunter whole, their mission appears daunting. Yet, any semblance of challenge evaporates as the stakes remain perpetually deflated. Lilith conveniently stumbles upon a crucial artifact by merely opening a drawer, while Roland miraculously evades certain death off-screen, stripping away any sense of danger. It’s akin to watching gameplay on God Mode with infinite lives, except these characters don’t even take damage—rendering the entire ordeal pointless.
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Outside of Greenblatt, no one on screen appears to be enjoying themselves. Especially Blanchett: she plays the gunslinging bounty hunter with an eye-rolling ambivalence that translates into a dry, disinterested performance. Kevin Hart, donning a beret, essentially plays himself, while portions of Florian Munteanu's dialogue are so muddled they become inaudible. Jack Black's portrayal of Claptrap falls flat, lacking consistent humor. Meanwhile, Jamie Lee Curtis' neurotic Dr. Patricia Tannis exists merely to rattle off exposition, adding little to the narrative.
In all honesty, Borderlands feels incomplete. Roth's storytelling rushes forward with an obvious briskness, as if crucial building blocks were missing from the plot, leaving audiences yearning for more substance and depth. The hyper-stylized flair of the Borderlands games is replicated only on the most superficial level, substituting the rich, chaotic energy that fans cherish with a hollow imitation. With a PG-13 rating, all the limb-severing gore, dirty-minded humor, and uniquely deranged themes are replaced by recycled blandness geared toward mass marketability. In stripping away the very elements that made the original games stand out, the film fails to capture the spirit and essence that once made Borderlands a cult favorite.
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